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Unworthy

Gen:32:10
I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. 

Jacob, as fear grips his mind, whether Esau would exact his long awaited revenge on him, now there is an opportune moment, divides the family into two groups and then goes to God. 
As he comes to God, as he humbles himself, he realizes the truth of his sinfulness and realizes that whatever he has are all a gift from God and he, out of all people, is totally unworthy to receive it all. 
It is not the gift that reveals the unworthiness, but the Giver. It is not the amount he has that showed his unworthiness, but the quality of the giver. Because the giver has been gracious, he realized his unworthiness. Because the giver is holy, he realizes his sinfulness. He remembered his deceit, his lying. 
Looking back into our own lives, there were kids smarter than us, intelligent than us, talented than us, but the Lord has been gracious to us. Not the weightage of blessings or inheritance that He has given. But the fact that God has been gracious to me even when I had been unfaithful. I'm unworthy. Each of us are unworthy, because of the entity called sin. 
And when we realize this truth and humble ourselves before our Almighty God, saying I'm unworthy to receive all your blessings, unworthy to have the knowledge of You, unworthy to have You in my life as a very great reward. That is when God would bless you more. (After this we see Jacob wrestling with God and is made Israel) 

How much more should we do this faith exercise regularly. To thank God for His blessings everyday, highlighting my unworthiness and His graciousness. Above all - remember this. 
Rom:5:8 But God demonstrated his own love for us, in this. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 

Not when I have decided to act righteously. 
Not when I have decided to change course. 
While I was still rebellious, while I was still His enemy, He died for me. 
Unworthy as I am, I come before You Father, with a grateful heart. Nothing else. 

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