No more questions - short story

Have you ever wondered what I have gone through. You all praise me as the father of faith. It's easy to sit on the other side of the bridge and appreciate the obedience. 

But what I had to go through that night was terrible. 

My own son, promised by my Father, born of my old age, as a relief of all ridicule, even among my household. My wife, poor Sara, what all she had dreamt off. She was always melancholic. But not after Issac came by. I could see the old youth of Sara, chirpy and joyous always but of course tired of age. What would I tell her, when I come back alone. All of them would label me a lunatic. Crazy. Forget about others. How will I live the rest of my old age without my beloved son. With the guilt of killing him with my own hands. Forget about my own self. How will I look into the tender eyes of his and slay his throat. What will he think of me, think of my God? He would feel betrayed, robbed of the chance to live. Will he understand this crazy obedience. 

Why would such a loving Father ask of me such a hideous thing? Am I so unloveable as to make me do this, to live with a life of guilt. I don't understand, giving a promise on one hand, and then taking it away. He knows I love him so much. He kept telling, the one whom you love. Then why this test. 

Questions unanswered, tearstained eyes. Bereft of hope and sleep all night, asking questions. Not able to understand. But still the Lord kept silent. Why Lord? What have I done so wrong to punish me? Talk to me my Abba! Your silence is killing me. 

Sara and Issac are peacefully sleeping, but I can't. I'm frantically running. One side is a God who has called me to love and to reward. On the other side is my family whom I so dearly love. I'm torn into pieces. 

But whatever it is I must muster all my strength to obey. I believe God has a purpose. If He has promised He will fulfil. If He has asked to sacrifice, I will obey. But my questions are unanswered. Do you care Father? 

After a long silence, I heard Him speak finally. Son. There are two points which I want to highlight. Through both I want to answer your querry regarding whether I care. 

Point one. All men and women are my children. When I see them rebel and run away from me to eternal death, my heart burns within me, more than what you are going through. For you it's your choice. Not Isaac's. But in my case, my own children choose to run away from me. Is it not more painful? I understand dear son. I feel for you. 

Point number two. It is linked to the point number one. In order to save all of you from rebelling against me and going to eternal death and damnation, I have a plan, where I am sending my own Son to be a sacrifice willingly. It is for this very purpose I have called you. The sin of the whole world, of the past, present and future will be laid upon Him, in fact it would be laid upon Me. How much I hate and abhor sin, even more I love you all. I don't want you to die and be separated from me. That's why I choose to do this. To kill my own son. So when you say I don't understand, that's a misnomer. I very well understand my son. You are invited to be part of a glorious plan I have in my mind. 

This opened my eyes. This God's love was revealed to me. Pain and love on the same side of the coin. Abhor and care. Grief and anger. Punishment and love. He Himself laying down His life for something which He hates, for someone whom He loves. How much more painful it would be for Him, as compared to my pain. So I will obey. I'm part of God's wonderful plan of redemption. I dont know how I will be of help. But I know He loves me. And so I will obey. 

That's what enabled me to take the decision to sacrifice my own son. You know the rest of the story. How I came to know more of Him, through my obedience. How I came to know of a new facet of His. Jehovah Jireh. Thank you my Father for revealing. Thank you for enabling. Thank you strengthening.