Pretension - Poem

Jer:3:10 She had only pretended to be sorry. 

How do you know it is pretension, Lord? 

Why do you say it is only superficial? 

At that time when I apologized, I was genuine. 

From the depth of my heart, I said sorry. 

Oh! I don't see a change, dear one. 

If it is from your heart, if it was genuine, 

You wouldn't have desired to do it again. 

But now if an opportunity comes, you would want to fall. 

If the purity of my heart, the holiness of your Father, 

The love that salvaged you from the miry clay:

If these were significant in your heart, 

Then you wouldn't have wandered off to adultery yet again. 

Look at David; he committed adultery

But his cry of repentance wasn't cursory

It was the cry from the depth of his heart

Against you and you alone, I sinned. 

But your apologies aren't sincere. 

Because if they were mature and sensible

Would you go back, thinking, "If at all"

Like a dog going back to it's vomit. 

It is one thing to be helpless in your demeanour

Even if you stumble and fall yet again

It is another to indulge, thinking God would forgive

Taking Him for granted, yet again. 

Learn to look at my heart, dear one

Not to give importance to what you feel. 

I want to do it, appeases your self

Father forgive me is looking into His heart. 

Pretending to be sorry but reveling in the same

That's utter foolishness. Who are you trying to fool? 

The one who sees the heart inside out? 

The one who created and fashioned you? 

I want to come out of it. 

Though I am helpless, I desire to

He will enable; I will cling on to Him

I hate this dichotomy:Lord please help.