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Reflect

Israel is a peculiar nation. When the Lord said to go and occupy the land, they hesitated,they doubted, they rebelled.
So the Lord says, because they treated the Lord with contempt, He is going to abandon this generation. For 40 years they would wander in wilderness. All except Joshua and Caleb who gave a good report on the promised land, would perish.
Now what do they do now? Num:14:39-40 says that when they realized the truth, they were filled with grief and the next morning they decide - okay then we will go.
No remorse, no repentance. 
Just a change in direction. I don't think there is any trust involved. Nor is there any feeling of "Oh! I've hurt God"
Probably because their aim was their comfort. Be it going back to Egypt or now when this promised land has become more practical and makes more sense. Their God was their belly. They were not God oriented but self oriented.

Dear one, it is not about what you will do or what you desire to do or what will happen to you. 
Lazarus had to die. Why? Inorder that God's name would be glorified.
It is actually about God. His glory. His character. And we being created in His image are only mere reflectors of Him.
The moon can never shine on its own. It just reflects the sun's light the way it can. It need not bother whether it's full moon or crescent or no moon. It's job is to reflect. Likewise our purpose in life is to be vessels of God's purpose and glory. Not seeking our glory. It's not that we shouldn't have desires. But we can't be adamant. "Not my will but yours"

Secondly. How genuinely repentant we are?About our words, about our thoughts and actions? Many a times we repent superficially so that all would go well with us. God calls it defiance.
A genuine repentance coming from our hearts and not from our mouths alone is rooted on the feeling that I have disappointed God and have hurt Him. Not to get things done for me. 
It looks at God's heart, not His hands.

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