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Crush


Isa:57:15
I restore the crushed spirit of the humble
And revive the courage of those with repentant hearts. 

An attitude of true repentance crushes the spirit. It is not a flury of words. Something that comes from the depths of your heart. Something which makes you uneasy. Something which makes you restless unless you tell it out to God. It demolishes your heart, because it was against your God that you sinned against. It has hurt your Father, yet again. 
When you realize that it was the umpteenth opportunity that He gave, that you squandered. When you realize, when you are bereft of all words, your excuses, you cannot even look at His face, because you know you have terribly sinned. And yet again I have disappointed Him. 
Your breath is short, because your heart sobs. Years continue to gush out through the eyes. You wail. If at all I had a burlap. If at all I had a sackcloth. If at all I had ashes.... 

Anything less is not repentance. Anything less is just a diarrhoea of words not useful for any. 
Yes the Son has covered every song on the cross. Yet if I am sure, I have hurt my father, how much more would I run back to Him, if I truly love Him. Otherwise salvation is just a one way ticket for me and I love only myself in the process. 
Why? Because for God sin was serious (even if it is not, for me) and that is why He chose the cross over the throne! 
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